Image: T.O.L.E.R.A.N.C.E. courtesy of Serdal
People that are passionate about tolerance can often forget to be tolerant of others. An example can be seen in the comments section of the Zen habits post A letter to my son on starting out in life, where a number of people where asking Leo to be more mindful of the fact his son could turn out to be gay.
I must admit that upon reading those comments for the first time, I sympathised with them. This all changed with a comment from Diane, one of Leo’s readers:
Author: Diane
Comment:
Leo,
My friend asked me to read your post and I found it wonderful to hear the love you have for your son. I have thought many times about writing to my child but have yet to do it. I am inspired to do it now and I thank you.
I also wanted to comment about those who criticized you for not giving the option of your son being gay. If you choose to dream or hope that your child will be heterosexual is the choice that you make. People who are ‘pro’ gay want others to accept them and always include them in the possibilities of life. But as much as they believe they are right, those of us that believe only in heterosexually we are right as well. We must be given just as much understanding as they ask for.
I am not trying to diminish your message in any way. As I said it has encouraged me to take the step to write to my daughter and share many of the things you have shared here with your son. You are a loving father and I see that your only intention here is to help give him a foundation in life that may equip him with power as he grows up.
I applaud you!!
With this comment, Diano made me realise that whilst it seemed ok to ask (demand?) tolerance from Leo, perhaps the attention should have focused more on the tolerance that his readers needed to display. After all, If Leo wants to dream of his son being heterosexual, then he has every right to do so. Reader’s might want to ensure that Leo is aware of the potential consequences of these dreams, should his son turn out to be gay: It could lead to feelings of failure on the part of Leo; or he could really hurt his son because he would feel that is it not ok to accept his homosexuality. However, as long as Leo is aware of the possible consequences, he should be allowed – even encouraged – to keep his stance; that is, after all, what personal freedom is all about.
