Note: If you’ve been patiently waiting for the ‘Video of the month’ post, please accept my apologies for the delay. Unforeseen events have pushed out the date of that post. Next week I will be back with the next video of the month for your viewing pleasure. But now, let’s get on with an important reflection.
Image: Never grow old courtesy of who.log.why
Today I found that the Mother of a dear friend of mine passed away. I was sadenned by his loss, and amazed to see that he turned his story into a blog article to discuss the realities of euthanasia. Before you continue, I strongly recommend you read the article at Dan Millman’s blog. In case you don’t have the time to follow my recommendation, here are a couple of excerpts from his article:
My parents lived far from us but closer to my sister, who called me one evening to tell me that mom had taken sleeping pills and was unconscious. Left alone, she would have quietly passed on. But even though she had a DNR (do-not-resuscitate) order in her Living Will, the facility was required to call the paramedics, who revived and intubated her and took her to a hospital. I flew to Los Angeles to join my sister who was standing vigil at the hospital. My mom’s first words to me were: “I love you.” Her second words were, “I want to die.” Under the circumstances, we understood and respected her wishes. She had lived a good life until the past few years. Now she wanted to go. She might have died quietly without the benign interference of those doing their duty to “help.”
We asked the doctor to remove the IV (intravenous) line that was hydrating her and helping to keep her alive. Since my mom had been begging him to do the same, it was done. She ceased taking any food or water. Gradually, slowly, her kidneys and other systems began to shut down. It took two weeks, with some medication to ease her passing, before she died.
Some say that suicide is a selfish act, even a cowardly one. But I don’t feel that way about my mom’s dying. It was her right and her choice. In some cases, the suicide of a parent, a child, a sister, a brother, a friend, can inflict bring great sorrow and psychological suffering to family or friends who grieve that loss. Our actions, even though they may seem to affect only us, touch others.
(…)
Let me reiterate and make clear: Suicide to escape troubling thoughts or emotions (including depression) is a tragic waste of life. Like dropping out of school too early. But there are times, for purely physical reasons, as in the case of terminal, debilitating illness or other condition — that if someone has decided, after an extended course of deliberation (rather than on impulse) decided to end their life at a time of their choosing, others should honor (or at least accept) that choice.
As I finished reading Dan’s story I had tears in my eyes. He is, has been, and will always be my teacher. At a time like this, Dan reminded me through his actions why I have always followed his teachings to the best of my ability. Not only did he deal with the situation in an admirable way, he also chose to make his pain public because he believed his story could enrich the debate about Life Choices. He chose public good over privacy. And for that I decided to write a response to the article in his blog:
Dear Dan,
thank you for the generosity you displayed by sharing such a personal story with us, your peaceful warriors in training. As I read it, tears welled up in my eyes. Perhaps it was because I had just finished reading an email from my own Mum with some reflections on old-age and the fallibility of our heroes from younger days(I have transcribed the mail at the end for your readers). Perhaps it was because I could feel the pain and serenity with which you had to go through it all. Or perhaps it was because, once again, you showed us the way to deal with painful and difficult times by exercising our choice to act as peaceful warriors at heart.
As I read your story, I was reminded of many of the Universal Laws of Spirit, and of many of the lessons you’ve been teaching us through both your books and your seminars. I was comforted to see you and your Mum exercise the Law of Choices at such difficult times. I was inspired when I saw the law of Action in practice as you chose how to act despite deep and conflictive emotions. I was brought to tears by your mastery of the Law of Compassion in supporting and loving your Mum through her final choice. But more than anything I was in awe of the power of training: through your behaviour in these difficult times, you reminded us all of what it really means to be a Peaceful Warrior: to exercise our power of choice and act in a calm, balanced, compassionate, and decisive manner even under the most troubling or most emotional circumstances.
Thank you for being my teacher. In these last lines I want to offer you my condolences for your loss, from the bottom of my heart, and say Thank You for sharing your sadness with the world in such a public manner. Thank you for inspiring us all to live more peaceful lives. If there was anything at all I could do to support you and your loved ones through this period, you know where to reach me.
With a sad heart and inspired soul,
Diego
The crazy Colombian***************
OUR PARENTS
**************
(A translation of a forwarded email powerpoint presentation,originally in Spanish)Our Mothers and Fathers were the heroes of our earlier years. But we continue feeding these stereotypes until much later in life. Then one day Dad starts mumbling, talking of things without head or tail. Mum starts having trouble finishing sentences and remembering little (and big) things). And we ask ourselves – What happened to them, our heroes?
They reached old age. Yes, our parents are now officially old. And no one, absolutely no one (especially not them!) prepared us for this event.
It is such a big surprise! One day, out of the blue, the lose their gait, show their vulnerabilities and weaknesses in all their splendour, and acquire silly traits. They are sick and they are tired, and the time has come for them to stop looking after others and start being looked after. Their day has arrived, and now it is our turn to return the Tender Loving Care with which they spoiled us all these years.
It is a long road they have walked, and their experience has given them some unique yet universal wisdom. They share with us what they know, and what they don’t know, they make up. Long-term plans are a thing of the past, and now they devote all of their time to small and exciting adventures – like hiding from us and their doctors the unhealthy pleasures they’ve been forbidden to continue.
While this age is sometime difficult for them to deal with, it is much harder for us, for they remind us we’re never truly in control of our lives.
So let’s show them their efforts were worth it. Let’s show them their love and compassion founda new home inour hearts, and let’s carry out any and all actions we can to share our love with them. Let’s do as much as we can so that when tomorrow , when they no longer are with us, we can remember them with love; remember their smiles and forget the times we caused them to cry.
At the end of the day, our heroes of yesterday will forever be our heroes. Thank you Mum for the love you showered me with every day. Thank you Dad for the guidance you always gave me. Thank you, Mum & Dad, for being my heroes, forever. Thank you.
I hope Dan’s story, my response to it, and the article I transcribed will provide you with some food for thought. If you wanted to say ‘Thank You’ to either Dan or to your parents, I encourage yo to do so below in the comments section of this article.
