Image:adaptation of Waking up to change courtesy of seanmcgrath

Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present
- Albert Camus

Welcome to the last of four installments in this article series . If you’re new to it, you might want to head back to our first one and start from the beginning. The ‘Fish! Series’ explains in detail the four basic principles of the Fish! philosophy, and how adopting them can help you have a happier life. Today, we will discuss the fourth and last principle: Be Present. I hope you enjoy it.

Principle # 4 – Be present

Being present means not spending time brooding over past events or worrying over potential future events. You should instead focus your attention in the present moment. In the context of the Fish! philosophy, Being Present means devoting your undivided attention to the person in whose company you are with. In this article, I will extend this definition to paying attention to tasks, people or moments.

This means that Being Present is…

… turning off the TV when your partner asks you an important question so that you can really listen to her and engage in the conversation

… asking  “can you please wait 2 minutes while I finish this so that I can pay attention” to your colleague who just dropped in and started talking to you as you were in the middle of writing an important email

… Closing your email while you are in that boring teleconference, so that any email you write gets the attention it deserves; this way you can also fully engage in the conversation happening over the phone

… Focusing your attention in what you’re doing while washing the dishes rather than daydream so that you can make sure you don’t miss that morsel of food that is stuck under the plate

… Creating the right time, environment and ambience to engage in daydreaming and creating a vision for the life you want to have rather than doing it while you’re driving so that the quality of your dreams is high (and avoid having a car accident!)

On the other hand, being present is not…

… Always turning the TV off because someone asked you a question at home. Instead, ask them to wait for a commercial break, or check if it is truly important.

… Assuming every email you are writing is more important than the issue your colleague was asking about when you told her “Don’t hassle me – can’t you see I’m busy?” Be present instead by waiting for an  answer to your question ‘Can you wait 5 minutes while I finish this?‘  and then making an informed decision on who / what should have your attention at that moment.

… Allowing others to determine who, when, and for how long gets your undivided attention by automatically accepting every meeting invite you receive. Start making a conscious decision about which activities benefit the most from your involvement, and shape your calendar to including  more of those. When an invite is not in your ‘Yes’ list, then develop an assertive and effective way to say ‘No’.

… Saying you can’t wash the dishes – ever – because you aren’t good at concentrating while doing them. Why not take to heart the challenge of improving your focusing skills, and embark in a competition against your ‘personal best‘ instead?

… Thinking only about you and your need for ‘daydreaming time’ to the detriment of others around you. Instead, make time for each task, and choose to Be Present in the moment because (as Dan Millman has famously said) there are No Ordinary Moments.

As you can see, Being Present requires mindfulness,  respect and compassion for others, and  choosing an attitude of “I am in charge of what I give my own time and attention to“.

What does it take to Be Present?

Being present is both incredibly easy to do once, and almost impossible to do all the time. Our world is full of distractions and multitasking-enabling technologies, so our ability to Be Present is constantly under siege. Just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Here’s some ideas on how you can Be More Present:

1. Choose your attitude. Being present requires an understanding that You, and only You, are in control of where your attention is directed. Choosing the attitude of “I am in control of where I focus my attention” allows you to decide Who/What are you going to Be Present for.
2. Make a habit of choosing. Develop the habit of making a conscious choice about who/what will receive your attitude on any given moment. To encourage you to do this, try to reflect on the following question throughout your day: Who/What am I choosing to give my undivided attention to right now?
3. Practice meditation. Being present while doing things is a simple extension of the practice of mindfulness that we engage in while meditating. Practice meditation, and Being present will become easier.
4. Understand the Law of Action. As explained In Dan Millman’s book The Laws of Spirit, “Doing leads to understanding and action turns knowledge into wisdom“. It is only through your choices in every day life will you acquire the wisdom to practice develop the habit of Being Present.
5. Go for a walking meditation. As explained above, practicing meditation helps you be more mindful and enables you to more clearly see the choices you make. Why not extend the practice of meditating while resting with your eyes closed into something you do while walking? In this show from Radio National you can listen to a program that describes why and how to go for a walking meditation.

Why Being Present?

Not long ago I would try to multi-task all the time; You know the drill: Try to complete some house chores while your partner is trying to talk to you about something important, and at the same time keep an eye on the kids to make sure they’re safe. Over time I have learned that by trying to do too many things at once, I was doing neither of them particularly well. On the  other hand, giving my undivided attention to one thing at a time has led to much better outcomes. Such is the power of focus.

When you give your undivided attention to someone you send a very simple yet powerful message to that person: You matter to me. I care. I’m all yours. Do this often enough, and the quality of your relationships will skyrocket.

Giving your undivided attention to a task sends the Universe a vital message: I strive for excellence in my outcomes. When you do this, the Law of Attraction will kick into action and enable you to get better results with less effort.

Focusing your undivided attention in the moment sends your subconscious an essential message: I am worth it. In today’s world of increasing eating and mental disabilities, the development of self-confidence has become a goal in itself. But without a sense of self-worth, self-confidence simply can not be attained. By paying attention to every moment, you are reaffirming your sense of self-worth, and paving the road to a more balanced and happy life.

Develop the habit of Being Present for other people, for the tasks you carry out, and for every moment in your life, and your relationships will thrive, you will be more successful, and you will live a happier life. Does it sound a bit far-fetched? Perhaps; but I challenge you to try it for 30 days, and return to this article to share your results. Go on, take a dare and show us if you’re a mouse or a man.