Image: Sweet dreams courtesy of Raul A.

Ask people on the street if we are living in difficult times, and most of them will say yes. Then ask them whether they would be willing to risk it all for the life they desire, and almost everyone will shy away from it. The truth is  most of us are  too afraid of change, and it has nothing to do with the current economic environment or with our current situation.

The life-change paradox

When life forces us to go through challenging circumstances it can create the kind of perturbation required to make life-changing decisions. It is not rare for people that go through life-threatening events to undergo a significant re-evaluation of the lives they were leading.  A great example of this is Brian Clark’s story.

Brian is the founder of Copyblogger, and he suffered from a subdural hematoma as a result of a snowboarding accident he had in early 2005. Unfortunately, at the time of the accident he did not realise he was suffering from a serious condition. Soon after, he became nearly crippled with headaches and hallucinations. As the doctors discovered the cause of his condition, they had to perform surgery to relieve him of the condition. In his article “The snowboard, the subdural hematoma, and the secret to life” , Brian describes going into the operating theatre and becoming very aware that death was definitely in the vicinity. Luckily surgery went well and he recovered fully.It was then that he reinvented himself. By the first week of 2006, Brian had embraced his dreams of  operating 100% on-line, and launched CopyBlogger.com.

At the end of his article Brian asks us a few simple questions:

What do you want to do?

Why aren’t you doing it?

I don’t care what your answer is… this is the only shot you’ve got.

This is not a dress rehearsal.

Who are you to chase your dreams no matter what, you might ask?

Who are you NOT to?

The life you were meant to live

Most of us do what Brian was doing up to the moment of his operation: living the life we think we’re supposed to live. Deep in our subconscious, all of us have a  script for what a responsible life looks like. And just as we are all unique individuals, the scripts are different for each one  of us too.

The amount of pull and inertia of these scripts is nothing short of extraordinary. It doesn’t matter if we rebel against it and decide to go backpacking all over the world with no care for the future; or if we decide to blow all our money on an 18-month rock-climbing trek around the world after that successful and very lucrative first job we landed after Uni. Sooner or later, most of us will start  living life according to that script.

Amazingly, no one imposed this script upon us;For that we can only blame ourselves. During our formative years, experience influences and shapes our views on life, and it is this experience that seeps into our  subconscious and starts forming that script. When the time comes, the strength of our ‘will’ to break free from those preconceptions  is irrelevant; most of us ends up succumbing to the force of that script. It is, after all, what we believe to be the right thing to do.

Many take comfort in the argument that these scripts represent the life they were meant to live. But that’s not necessarily true. These scripts represent the life we live when we choose to just follow the path instead of actively choosing a path. The live we were meant to live may look, feel and smell very different indeed.

Living your dreams

So how do we get out of our own heads and start living the life we were meant to live? You could go snowboarding, aim for a subdural hematoma, and use the precious moments right before life-threatening surgery to reflect on this question. Or you could do it the easy way. Ask Brian Clark, and I am sure he will agree there are better ways to recognise your dreams, choose your path, and live the life you were meant to live.

The first step is to recognise your dreams. This sounds easier than it is. Most of us have adopted a variety of cliches as if they really were our innermost dreams. Ask anyone to describe their dreams, and there is a good chance you will get a combination of big houses, expensive cars, fast boats, and easy sex with wildly attractive partners.

Fortunately, discovering  your dreams can be easily done. All that is needed is the development of a habit of visioning, reflecting and documenting your aspirations. You might have heard the old adage which says that  “failing to plan is planning to fail“; when it comes to choosing a life-path, this is 100% true.

So how do you adopt this new habit? There’s an easy to follow four-step process:

1. Decide how much time you want to devote to this activity, and choose a regular time for reflection. Make it  daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly; it is up to you. Whatever you choose, please make sure you select something you can stick to.
2. At the schedule time, sit down in a quiet place, put some soothing music, and imagine you are living the life you have always wanted to live. Close your eyes.
3. Open your eyes again, and start writing a description of your day.Describe what you did; where you went; who you met; what you felt.  Describe everything in as much detail as possible.
4. When you’re finished, close the book. Close your eyes and try to visualise the day you just wrote about.

As your routine of making a diary of your ideal life becomes more established, you will notice changes will start to happen. No, it is not that the Law of Attraction is working it’s magic; it is simply that having that vision and being fully aware of it  helps you recognise the opportunities you have to make the changes required. As these opportunities arise, you will be more aware of their possibility, and you will seize the moment and take immediate action. The more you do this, the quicker you will get to  live the life you were meant to live, As Brian Clark said, this is not a dress rehearsal. Why aren’t you doing what you want to do?

Image: Taal View 2 HDR courtesy of Sir Mervs

Today’s guest post comes to you from Christy Andronicus, co-founder & Director of Success & You. In this article, Christy tells us about the nature of Ego, how to act from a place of good spirit, and the secret behind having confidence in yourself.

To have confidence is to love and trust in the person you are.

It is common in today’s society to be ridiculed and made fun of for “loving yourself” or “having a big head”. As a result many people of our times have low self-esteem, depression and a belief system that constantly reminds them that they are not worthy.

It is very sad to think that humanity has become so conditioned and commercialised that we taunt others for caring about themselves or having great self image, simply because we are jealous!

Often we associate high confidence with having a huge ego. However, more often than not this is simply arrogance or fear disguised as confidence. True confidence, love and belief in one’s self prevail from your good spirit or higher consciousness.

Your good spirit knows no lack or limitation. It is inherently aware that you have the ability to achieve anything you want and will always encourage you to follow your heart and have a go.

When a person acts from a place of higher consciousness with trust and love, they find that they have the ability to tap into a new sphere of energy. This energy provides a confidence and belief that radiates from within and gives certainty – free from doubt.

Take relationships for example; many people come to me wanting to know how to attract a great relationship. When I ask them how many dates they have been on recently or suggest they ask someone out, they appear shocked and commonly respond with something like “but what if they say no”? In this moment, the person is acting from an ego space and responding to a F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real). It is precisely this ego-induced fear that is keeping them stuck and preventing them from having any relationship.

People in the same situation, acting from a space of good spirit would simply take action. They ask someone out with the confidence and trust that if the person declines, this is simply not the right avenue to pursue. The “no” allows them to move forward onto to the next opportunity and possibly the right path.

The difference between the two situations is that the person acting out of good spirit understands that the perceived rejection is simply an opportunity to find the right path. It does not allow the response to affect their own feelings of self-worth. They understand that the action has actually set them free and they are more likely to find the relationship they dream of now.

When you follow your heart with love and trust you tap into a space of knowingness that allows you to confidently take action. Knowing, that regardless of the outcome, you are in the right place, at the right time and everything is always perfect!

Remember, success is about following your heart. So step up today… there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain!

With Love and Gratitude, Christy Andronicus

What’s in a dream? For the last several weeks, I have been keeping a diary of my dreams, and there’s some weird stuff on them. But the entries for the last 2 days were amazingly revealing.

The night before last, I had a nightmare; It was like I was in the middle of a horror story (think 28 days later, but with me starring on it), and I woke up truly down. It took me half a day to get out of that mood. Then last night, I had a wonderful dream – where I was visiting friends from childhood; succeeding at connecting with people both in my personal life and my professional life; and having a genuinely good time. My mood after I woke up was happy and light, and lasted all day.

The funny thing is that in our every day life, we often confuse our ‘dreams’ with our ‘wants’. We say the house we’d like to have as our “dream house”; The job we want next as our “dream job”; and the holiday we’re planning for as our “dream holiday”. But these are simply wants. What do we truly desire? It’s not a house, a particular holiday, not even a very good or exceptionally well paid job. Our deepest desires are often far more meaningful and simpler than any of our wants.

What do you desire? Have you decided what your dreams are made of? If not, maybe it is time you start keeping a dream’s journal; you might be surprised by what you find there.