Image: adaptation of sometimes a hug is all what we need courtesy of kalandrakas

“Have you noticed (…) when you’re walking down the street (…) people don’t smile any more? They have lost the ability to smile!” – Jack Lalanne

If you’re new to this series, you may want to read our first article where we explain the four basic principles that are the basis of the Fish! philosophy, and how it can help you have a happier life. Today, we will discuss the second principle (Make someone’s day) and give you some simple ideas of how to do this on a daily basis, both at work and at home.

Principle # 2 – Make someone’s day

The second principle of the Fish! philosophy is really no secret: Actively and regularly exercising your Kindness muscles will lead to happier, healthier, better lives. Yes, there is a strong case for kindness and altruism. The best news is that this type of kindness does not require fat checkbooks or a life of deprivation and selfless sacrifices. No, we are talking about simple, ideally daily small and perhaps even random acts of kindness that make those around you feel appreciated.

This idea was not born out of naivety from do-goodies; Found first in the religious teachings of Buddha, Jesus, Mohamed and other leaders, today’s body of science has now proven the case for kindness. Recent academic studies in Positive Psychology by luminaries such as Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky from Stanford University confirm that “completing five acts of kindness every day has a significant and positive impact in our levels of positive emotion”, and leads to happier lives. Or as doctor Stephen Post and Jill Neimark proved in their recent book Why Good Things Happen to Good People, “when we give of ourselves, especially if we start young, everything from life-satisfaction to self-realization and physical health is significantly affected. Mortality is delayed. Depression is reduced. Well-being and good fortune are increased.”

Making someone’s day on a daily basis

Making someone’s day does not usually take a lot of effort, energy or money. Sure, spending large amounts of any of those can make a big difference to the impact you have through good deeds; unfortunately, most of us get easily confused by this fact, and assume that unless we set out to really make a big difference, it is all a waste of effort. I have good news for you: it isn’t.

At work, the easiest way to make someone’s day is to think about who has made your work easier or better lately, and then go and say Thank You. Yes, these words have a lot of power when they are said from the heart. And with just a little more effort, you can double its power. Our over-reliance in electronic communications has meant that the art of writing is becoming an ancient practice; use this well known fact to your advantage and write a Thank you note with pen and paper. I guarantee the recipient will not forget your gesture!

There are many other ways of giving on a daily basis, without having to spend a lot of time or energy on them:

1. Smile & Listen: As you meet people in the corridor, kitchen, or water cooler, choose one moment a day when you give your undivided attention to the person you are meeting, Smile at them, ask them how they are, and then listen. Many of us give out ‘How are yous’ without even waiting to hear the answer; make someone’s day by giving them 5 minutes of your time and actually listening to their stories.
2. Teach them how to fish rather than giving them the fish they ask for. As people come to you for help, choose instances where you can extend their skills by coaching them on how to do what they asked you about rather than simply doing it for them.
3. Offer a shoulder to lean on. Do you see someone who needs moral support? Perhaps the stress of it all is too much, or they look like they could use 5 minutes of respite; offer emotional and moral support to someone who is going through a difficult time. You’ll be surprised at the difference that you can make simply by saying “I am here to listen if you need me” to someone in distress.
4. Give someone a ride. If you’re at a business function, keep an eye out for those without transport and offer them a ride home, especially if it means only a small detour from your planned return trip. To you it may represent another 5 minutes of your day, but it may save an hour or more of travel time for the other person.
5. Give discount vouchers to those who will enjoy them. Have you ever noticed the vouchers at the back of your shopping dockets? Take a minute to cut a few of them out, and keep an eye for people at work or elsewhere that may need them or enjoy them. Even better, buy an Entertainment Book and carry some vouchers with you to give away randomly to people you meet at the shops, the supermarket,etc.

Once you get started using these ideas, and start getting ‘In the zone’ of making someone’s day on a regular basis, I recommend you read this article that will help you turn that habit into a daily routine. And if you really want to make a bigger difference in the world, then make sure you ask people to Pass the kindness Forward if they ever ask how they can pay you back for your generosity. With these simple words, you can create a snowball of kindness that will leave a path of smiles along the way.

To my loyal readers: This is another reflection I previously wrote for my other project, Pass it Forward. I hope you enjoy it. -The crazy Colombian

Image: Puppies in the Puddle courtesy of Todd Huffman

You may be surprised by these news, but No: you do not need to be a Boy scout to Be Prepared‘ (Scouts’ motto) and Do a Good Turn Daily (Scout’s slogan). In this article we will tell you why you should create the habit of giving on a daily basis, and we will also share with you the ’secret weapon’ that makes this as easy as 1-2-3!

Why give on a daily basis?

The benefits of daily giving should be obvious, but let’s recount them:

• Giving on a daily basis will make you a better Christian / Muslim / Buddhist / <insert your religious denomination here>
• It makes you feel like you have contributed with something positive every day
• Give daily to those in need, and you will start to appreciate how much you actually have in your life
• Eventually, all that good may come back (If you don’t know about the universal Law of cause & effect or Karma, you can learn about it in this article)
• And would you believe that some forms of giving are even tax-free?

Ok, so now that you’re convinced of making Giving a daily habit, let’s move to the How.

How to give on a daily basis?

There are 2 things you need to remember to make Giving a daily habit in your life:

1. Remember that creating new habits is a difficult task, so be easy on yourself. Leo Babauta of Zen Habits has written a fantastic article that will help you remember of 13 things to avoid when changing habits. We strongly recommend you read it when you’re finished with us.
2. Make sure you’re ready to give when the opportunity arises. Most of the time we don’t give not because we don’t want to, but because it will take too much time, we don’t have change with us, or it simply happens at an inconvenient time. To combat these issues, we have a secret weapon: The PIF kit! What?! we here you say; Shhhhh…. it’s a cleverly guarded secret of us, committed philanthropists. But don’t worry, you can go to this Secret page to learn it all about PIF kits. It’s very easy! Take a look, and decide by yourself.

Image: 1 courtesy of 18 55 Photography

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published by The crazy Colombian in the ‘Reflections’ section of his other web site Pass It Forward. We encourage you to visit this web page and learn more about this inspirational project that is changing the world with acts of kindness.

The parable of the hungry little boy

There once was a little boy who lived on the streets of New York and was always hungry. On Monday morning a senior executive from a hedge fund walked past him; The executive had received a free bread-roll with his coffee from the local Starbucks. Since he was on a low-carb diet, he carelessly tossed it away. Luckily for the small boy, the bread-roll landed on his lap (the boy’s, not the executive’s)On this first day the boy had something to eat, and did not go hungry. On Tuesday, a Social Security worker walked past this same little boy. His heart was broken by the sight of a young & vulnerable child on the harsh streets of New York. He decided to stop at the bakery across the road, and used the few coins in his pocket to buy a bread-roll for the boy. On this second day the boy had something to eat, and did not go hungry. On Wednesday a visiting politician from Washington D.C. walked past the boy, and saw a golden opportunity for some positive PR. He took his PR consultant’s lunch box, removed a bread-roll that was in it, and asked him to take a photo of him magnanimously giving the boy some food. On this third day the boy had something to eat, and did not go hungry.

Who was a better giver: The senior executive; the Social Security worker, or the politician? If you’re like most of us, you will say the Social Security worker. In our judgemental eyes, he was the only generous soul; the senior executive was simply careless, and the politician self-serving. Yet truth is they all gave a bread-roll away. To the small boy, all three acts of kindness were equal. At the end of the day, each and every one of them allowed him to avoid hunger in a cold, winter New York day.

So what?

In our current society, we often judge others’ acts of generosity on the basis of the giver’s intentions & motivations. We believe that giving must be done with love in our hearts to be worthy of praise. But wouldn’t it be even more admirable if you gave something even when you were not inspired; when you were not feeling generous; even when you simply did not feel like it? We all feel inspired by the person who has nothing yet gives much; in a certain way, that generosity is remarkable, and needs to be praised, if for no other reason than to recognise a selfless and generous spirit we have come across in our day. Yet we must be careful. Simply because giving with little in our pocket and a generous heart is a good thing, does not mean that we should fail to acknowledge any giving that does not come in the company of those admirable traits.

The greatest gift : giving in spite of yourself

We usually give when we are in a good mood, feeling either wealthy or generous. Yet we often feel unworthy to participate in the gift of giving if we feel motivated to do so because it has a positive impact in our taxes; because we feel just a tinge of guilt from our latest excesses; or because someone who we love is watching us and we do not want to be seen as too selfish. It has been said that many volunteers get a strong sense of purpose from donating their time, and that at the end of the day, they are giving not so much because they love others and want to help them; but because they love themselves and feeling useful makes them happy. Should we snub them and their efforts because of it? Or course not! Just remember that to those on the receiving end, your motivation makes very little difference. Next time you feel like you need to be in the right frame of mind before you give to others, get over your moralistic impulses and Just Do It. The person who benefits from your kindness will appreciate it regardless of your motivations!